


A Heart To Move

by readitson



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Retail, Bar Owner Shiro, Big Bang, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Disaster Lance, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gay Disaster Shiro (Voltron), Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Retail Worker Lance, all consensual, help him, shance, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 08:29:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16783351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readitson/pseuds/readitson
Summary: Lance had sworn off getting his heart broken. He promised himself no more falling for beautiful strangers. But when the hottest regular at his store won’t stop flirting with him, Lance is in danger of falling into old habits... Can Lance let another person in, or will he do anything to protect himself from getting hurt including pushing the one person he doesn’t want to away?





	A Heart To Move

Lance stared at Shiro across the room. There he was. The buffest sweetheart he had ever met. He had a certain pull about him, and Lance wasn’t the only person to notice it. Allura gave him her brightest smile and asked if there was anything she could do for him, but he politely replied he was just checking out the new stock. Lance was also checking something out, or someone, quite extensively from behind the tills. He didn’t realize a customer was waiting in front of him until they cleared their throat and his eyes slowly settled on another regular of theirs.

“Oh. Hi, Lotor.”

“Hello.”

“Would you like bag for this?”

“No.”

“Right. And will that be cash or card?”

“Card. As _always_.”

Lance nodded and stifled a long suffering sigh. “There you are. Have a nice day.”

“Give my regards to Allura,” he said, before turning on his heel and leaving. Lance couldn’t stand that guy sometimes. There was something about the way Lotor looked at him. Well, it was more the fact that he didn’t at all. Lance did not appreciate being invisible.

He let his eyes wander back to Shiro. He was holding up a tank top with “Royalty” written on the back in sparkly letters. Lance snorted at the slight grimace on his face. He slipped away from his post while the store was quiet and pretended to be size ordering shirts next to him. “Coran’s been experimenting this season. Sometimes he’s kinda tacky, but you gotta love his flair.”

Shiro looked over at Lance and smiled. “I wouldn’t say it’s tacky.”

“That’s why I’m saying it for you.” Shiro chuckled and put the tank back on the rail. “Maybe this is more you?” Lance suggested, holding up a different one. It was plain black with the Altea Clothing symbol in the top corner- a small ship made from galaxy print. Shiro took it from Lance and regarded it with a look of appreciation.

“This is really nice.”

“There’s one in white too, for when it gets a bit hotter.”

“Really?”

“The shipment comes in a week or so. You can come back if you like? Or I could add you to our mailing list. You get emails or texts when we have new stock in.”

“Oh, sure.”

Lance smiled. “Don’t feel pressured to. You can say no if you want to.”

“No no, it’d be pretty useful. I’ve been coming here quite a lot anyway. Not many places do clothes for my body type. They’re either too tight, too baggy, or gym clothes,” he sighed.

“Well, we do like to cater for everybody,” Lance hummed. “Anything else you’re looking for today?”

“I don’t think so. This is all I needed really.”

“Alright, come over. I’ll serve you,” Lance said sweetly.

“You should be out here more often, you’re very good at this,” Shiro commented.

Lance laughed at that, taking his place back behind the desk. “I was. But Allura got sick of the register and almost throttled a customer trying to return _very clearly worn_ underwear a few months ago. So I agreed to switch.”

“Jesus.” Shiro’s expression was equal parts disgust and sympathy.

“Yeah. Do you want me to put this in a bag for you?”

“Oh, yes please, thanks. And I’m paying by card.” Lance smiled. It was like a gift from heaven having Shiro come in the store on days like this. He was always so polite. Lance handed over the bag and grabbed a form from under his desk.

“You can fill this out so you’re added to the mailing list if you’re still interested?”

“Yeah that’d be great,” he said, taking the form and a pen off him and scribbling down his details. He gave them back and smiled his big, adorable smile, melting Lance on the spot. “Thank you.”

Lance struggled to get himself back under control. “H-have a good day. See you soon.”

“You too!” he said, heading out the store. Lance watched him leave and whined pitifully. He let his head drop to the desk. Allura sidled up to him and leaned against the counter.

“What an impressive display. Did you get his number?”

He groaned, “Yeah, for the _mailing list_.”

“Ouch, sorry. Retail-zoned again.” Lance nodded sadly. “Well, good news is lunch is in 5.”

He perked up, eyes shining. “Lunch,” he whispered.

-

The rest of the day dragged by and Lance stared at the clock on the wall until it was closing time. He swung round and popped his head in Coran’s door.

“I’m off then, boss!”

“Alright, thanks, Lance! Enjoy your day off tomorrow,” he chirped, waving him goodbye from his desk. Lance bounded out of the store and across the mall to a small cafe. He grinned at his best friend behind the counter and mouthed _see you later_ , before heading home.

He changed into a casual shirt and blue jeans and fired off a text to Pidge. Hunk came home not long after, whipped them up a quick dinner, and they set off.

“Where did she say this place was?” Lance asked for the third time, peering at Google Maps over Hunk’s shoulder as they walked.

“It’s not that far away, we’re almost there,” Hunk replied, turning a corner and smiling as he spotted Pidge. “Here.”

It was an averagely busy bar, nothing too crazy. It had a slight nightclub vibe to it with a small dance floor. Some people were stood talking, and a small group of much too drunk students were dancing.

“Oh there’s a booth free, sweet,” Hunk said. The three of them sat down and Lance declared he was getting the first round. He shimmied his way to the bar and waited, trying to catch the eye of one of the bartenders. His eyes fell on a particularly smoking redhead serving the person next to him; his eyes mesmerized by the way her lips moved as she spoke and how her hips swayed as she-

“Lance?”

He blinked and turned to see a familiar looking face. “S-Shiro?” His face heated up. What was gorgeous Shiro doing here? Did they just hire the most attractive people to work there to lure poor souls like Lance to his financial death? He really hoped he hadn’t noticed him very blatantly staring at what he assumed was Shiro’s colleague. “I uh, you work here?” From the knowing look on Shiro’s face, he had noticed.

“Sure do. I can get Jenny to serve you if you like?” he teased. Lance felt his cheeks get even hotter.

“No no! That’s fine.” Shiro laughed. Lance joined in weakly as his eyes glanced over Shiro’s insanely huge arms in his shirt. “You sure like tank tops.”

“You wouldn’t believe how hot it gets in here.” Lance swallowed dryly. He had some idea.

“At least you’re keeping us in business. I’ll have to let Coran know, he’ll probably get some stock in just for you,” he said.

“I’m sure you get plenty of business without me. But I’d be honoured. Can I get you a drink? On the house of course for one of my _favourite_ Altea employees.”

“One of? I’ve read your customer review of me, _Mr Shiro_. I know I’m your favourite,” Lance replied cheekily, leaning forward slightly.

“You caught me,” he laughed. “So what’ll it be?”

“You sure you’re allowed to do that? Won’t your boss be kinda mad?”

He gave Lance a warm smile. “You’re looking at the boss.”

“You _own_ this place?” Lance asked wide eyed. Shiro nodded. “That’s awesome!”

“And stressful,” he chuckled. “So how come I’ve never seen you in here before?”

“Well we usually go to this bar across town, but they recently jacked up their prices way too high. Pidge is super pissed about it. She goes to college round the corner so suggested we go here.”

“Pidge?”

“Well, her name’s Katie, but we call her Pidge. She’s sat over there with my other friend, Hunk.”

“Hunk? Your friends have very interesting names.”

“I’d say you have pretty interesting name yourself... I might’ve had a little glance over your form, _Takashi_.”

He laughed. “You could say it’s uncommon round here, yes.”

“So why’d you decide to go by Shiro?”

“I didn’t really decide. People in high school used to call me by my last name, then it got shortened, then it stuck.”

“Wow, a nickname given to you by a whole school? I bet you were real popular,” Lance said, cocking an eyebrow.

“I played for the school football team. People only cared about how well I did in a game.”

Lance snorted. “Were you always such a wall?”

“I suppose. I like the discipline of working out and being healthy. I’ve pretty much always been like that.”

“Impressive,” Lance cooed.

Shiro laughed and rubbed his neck. “Sorry, didn’t mean it to sound like I was bragging.”

Lance gave him a soft smile. “It didn’t. I should be getting back to my friends sometime soon though, they’ll be wondering where their drinks have gone.”

“Ah yes, I also have a bar to run. I keep forgetting. What am I getting you then? I’ll get you all a free round.”

“Aw, you don’t have to do that,” Lance said, batting his eyelids. “But if you _insist_ , I’ll have a purple rain, energy drink, and a pint of your finest apple cider.”

Shiro chuckled, “You got it.” He poured the drinks and offered to help carry them to the table. Lance accepted, trying not to swoon too hard. They reached the booth and Lance introduced everybody.

“Oh, is this the beefy regular at your store?” Pidge asked.

Lance went red and swatted her away. “He’s one of our very valued customers, yes.” Shiro glanced at him, surprised to hear Lance had spoke of him.

“So, do you have to work all evening?” Hunk asked, Lance eyeing him suspiciously. “We’d love for you to join us for some drinks. Let us pay you back for the round.”

“I’m going to have to graciously decline. I’m on the clock I’m afraid, can’t take any time off tonight. Thank you for the kind offer though,” he said, giving them a warm smile. He turned to Lance, touching his arm lightly. “Enjoy your evening.”

Lance blinked at him. “Thanks.” He could focus on nothing but the contact between him and Shiro before he’d disappeared back to the bar. He slowly sat down in the booth and sipped his drink quietly.

“Someone’s got you tongue tied. That's unlike you,” Pidge commented.

“People like him touching me should be illegal. It’s not fair, how am I supposed to enjoy my night after that?!”

“By not being so thirsty,” Pidge shot back.

Lance squinted at her, but sighed. “You’re right. I’ve given up chasing after people and I want to stick to that. No more thirsting for me. So! Tell me all about college!” He exclaimed. They chatted all evening about their respective lives. Pidge following in her brother and father’s footsteps pursuing science at college, Hunk doing business management while working at a cafe in order to open his own restaurant someday. And Lance... Well Lance wasn’t sure what he wanted to do yet, but he was okay with that, and loved working for Coran.

Every time they needed a new round Lance made sure to always wait to get served by Shiro. Making himself visible to the other man as he waited at the bar, and Shiro always gave Lance a smile and told him he’d be with him in a moment. It was sweet really, how he made time to chat a little as he worked. They laughed about the ridiculous things drunk customers had done, and Lance shared some stories about insane customers he’d encountered. Soon it was getting late and Pidge had revision to do, so Lance made one last trip to the bar to say goodbye.

“So soon?”

“Pidge is practically drowning in work. I think she can’t spend longer than a few hours away from her text books.”

“Well, I hope you come back again. And I’m not just saying that for my business.”

Lance smiled and tilted his head. “You sure about that?”

He laughed. “Maybe. You know, I always seem to have a lot of fun when you’re around. If you wanted to hang out sometime, I could give you my number? For you, not the mailing list this time,” he chuckled.

“Oh, sure!” Lance said, swallowing thickly and fumbling for his phone. He handed it over and Shiro typed in his number. 

“There, text me when you’re free.” All Lance could do was nod before Shiro was off serving other customers. He walked shakily to the door where Hunk and Pidge were waiting for him and gave them a dumbfounded look.

-

“HANG OUT?!” he exclaimed, “WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? IS THAT A STRAIGHT THING? IS HE STRAIGHT? OR DOES HE MEAN _HANG OUT?_ ” Lance paced his living room later that evening, clutching his phone in his hand.

“I dunno man. Text him,” Hunk said from the couch. Lance let out an indignant sound and threw himself on the couch opposite.

“I don’t know what to _say_!”

“Hi, it’s Lance... _Lemme smash?_ ” A pillow flew and hit Hunk on the head. “That was rude. But fair.”

“I’m in a time of crisis!” Lance cried out.

“Okay okay, how about do what he asked then? Tell him when you’re free.”

“Hunk, I just can’t! I’m not mentally ready for this!” Hunk rolled his eyes.

“Fine, be dramatic. But you should text him eventually.” Lance buried his face in a pillow and didn’t respond. “I’m going to bed. Don’t be up too late _thinking_.”

Actually, Lance made sure he didn’t think about Shiro. At all. He’d planned to text him, he really did. But he kept putting it off to the point where over a week had passed and he still hadn’t sent a single message. Shiro didn’t even have his number to start the conversation himself. It was too much pressure and Lance would rather not pay it any attention, instead dodging Hunk’s questions.

It was a particularly slow day at work and he leaned his chin against his palm, elbow resting on the desk. Someone entered the store and he dragged his eyes up to see how interested he should be. The answer was _very_. He shot up, and seriously considered escaping to the back, getting someone else to cover him on the register while he escaped the premises. He was busy weighing his options when he was approached by a sheepish looking Shiro.

“I came to get the tank you suggested.” He placed the white clothing on the desk gently. “I got the text saying it was in store.”

Lance cringed at the mention of texting. “I’m glad the mailing list was helpful.” Shiro just gave him a slightly sad smile. He felt like his heart was going to shrivel up and wither away. “Shiro, I’m... sorry I never text. I’ve just been so busy and...” he trailed off. By the look on Shiro’s face, he didn’t believe him.

“It’s okay. It was just a suggestion, you didn’t have to take me up on it,” he said, the kindness of his words had Lance feeling even worse.

“I want to! I’m just bad with texting. Maybe you can text me when you want to hang out? Let me give you my number, I promise I’ll respond.” Lance knew he sounded a bit of a mess, but he felt so guilty he wanted to do anything to get that sad look off Shiro’s face.

Shiro paused a moment, then took out his phone, handing it to Lance. “Sure.” Lance typed in his number and saved it under _Lance (Altea)._ Shiro looked at it once it was back in his hand.

“How many other Lance’s do you think I have in my phone?”

Lance shrugged. “You never know.”

Shiro clicked to edit the contact, turning it round to face Lance once he was done. “There.” It read _Lance (Cute)._ Lance’s face flushed. He definitely didn’t think he needed to worry about him being straight anymore. He looked down and busied himself putting Shiro’s shirt in a bag, hoping he didn’t notice his blush. Shiro paid and Lance handed it over.

“Again, I am sorry.”

“It’s okay, Lance. There were no expectations, I didn’t really mind.”

“Still, I hope I hear from you.” He couldn’t look Shiro in the eyes as he said it, instead staring down at his fingers as he fiddled with them.

“I’m sure you will,” he replied softly. Lance looked up and Shiro gave him another one of his adorable smiles before leaving the store. A few hours later during his break, Lance took his phone out his locker and saw he’d received a text. His heart thumped as he saw Shiro’s name come up and a text that said _You’re going to ruin me for all other stores, you know_. He stood in the locker room grinning to himself. Shay walked in from her break.

“Hey, Lance! You alright?” she asked, noticing his face.

He sighed. “Just a cute guy ruining my life, y’know how it is.”

She hummed. “I can’t say it’s ever ruined my life. Usually it makes it better!”

“Oh, you sweet angel. I hope it stays that way.” He closed his locker and gave Shay a peck on the cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

She smiled. “Later, Lance.”

He headed out the store and pulled out his phone, sending his reply to Shiro. _You’ve already ruined me for all other customers_. He placed it back in his pocket and greeted Allura for lunch. He was sat devouring one of the delicious sandwiches from Hunk’s work when his phone buzzed with a response. _Is it because I buy you free rounds?_ He smiled and typed back. _Of course, I’m easily won over with free alcohol._

_Good news then, there’s going to be a party at my flat with plenty of free alcohol. Interested?_

His heart raced. He wasn’t sure if it was the best idea. Shiro was already irresistible and everything Lance tried to stay away from. He chewed his lip. Allura had gone off to meet her girlfriend and Lance sat alone, fretting to himself. _When?_

_This Friday._

_I’m not sure yet. I promised Hunk I’d spend the weekend with him._ He typed quickly. It was mostly true- he had wanted to plan something with Hunk that weekend. As if on queue Hunk came to join him on his break.

“So, Loverboy Lance back?” Hunk asked, pointing at Lance’s phone. He looked up at Hunk with desperation in his eyes.

“He just invited me to a party this Friday. Hunk, I’m not made to say no to beautiful people.”

Hunk chuckled, “guess I hit the nail on the head. You should go.” Shiro sent a text back and Lance let out a stressed noise as he read it. _You should invite Hunk along! Your other friend too, they’d both be welcome._ He showed Hunk his phone and his best friend nodded.

“Like I said, go. I’ll come with you if you want.”

“I don’t know if I can handle it,” he groaned.

“Lance. Text him back saying you can go. You already rejected the poor guy by not texting him for a _week_ after he gave you his number. Even if you go in the most platonic way, at least it’ll be something.”

“Wow, Hunk. Way to make a guy feel bad again,” he grumbled.

Hunk shrugged. “Just being honest, dude.”

After contemplating for a few moments, he sighed. Hunk was right. As usual.

 _Pidge will no doubt be studying, but I'm sure me and Hunk could make it._ He sent the message and put the phone face down on the table. He was really doing this.

-

Tuesday went slow. As did Wednesday... and Thursday. Lance told himself off every time his thoughts were overcome by Shiro and the party. What will his apartment look like? Does he have someone he lives with? Maybe he's not even single. Oh God why didn't Lance think to find out if he was actually single? He chewed on the inside of his cheek as another wave of nerves hit. He might need a lot more alcohol than he thought for this.

Allura bounced over, grin wide. “So! Tomorrow, ey? Big day!” He looked at her mournfully. “Wow, Lance. Stress is not a good look on you.”

“Thank you, I'm aware,” he mumbled.

“Look at that sad little face. Heartbreaking.” Allura slid behind the counter and gently bumped Lance out the way with her hip. He looked mildly concerned, but saw that a customer was coming up to the register and he was being saved from dealing with it. She gave them their receipt and waved them off. Turning her attention back to Lance she took his hands and gave him her most determined look. He almost wanted to pinch her cheeks, she looked so adorable.

“Listen, hun, I'm assuming this is about your thing for Shiro.” Lance managed a nod. “So, words of advice. Pay attention to how he acts with the other people at the party. These will most likely be his friends. You can find out a lot about people by speaking to their friends, and with someone as mysterious and gorgeous as Shiro, we must discover his secrets. Don't just do it for you, do it for me too. I'm so curious.”

Lance chuckled. “Okay, I'll keep it in mind.”

Allura gave his hands a squeeze. “That's my boy,” she praised, before heading back onto the shop floor. Lance watched her long ponytail swing as she strode off and smiled. He could not be more grateful for their friendship. Of course, he still found her gorgeous and charming, but he finally had her attention like he always wanted. He found he didn't need it to be romantic. Plus, the moment he met Romelle he had been rooting for them since the start. Now they're his favourite couple to third wheel. He was still waiting for Hunk and Shay to stop being too bashful to actually ask each other out. Though, they were still cute to watch.

It was hard, not to be thinking about relationships when it seemed everybody had someone. It was easy to be happy for them, just as it was easy to not be happy for himself. Although he'd had his fair share of pity parties, and decided he was sick of them. He was also sick of getting his heart trodden on. No more pining, no more longing for unattainable people. He would enjoy his night, find out the gossip for Allura, and leave with his dignity.

Or so he'd thought.

Friday night had rolled around faster than expected. Lance looked at himself in the mirror and wondered if the shirt he'd chosen screamed gay in a tasteful way, or in a horrendous sort of way. Hunk knocked on his door. “Come on, buddy. You ready yet?”

He swung open the door. “Is this too much? Is it not enough? It's too much isn't it? Oh God. I bet all his friends are straight! What am I gonna do if it's a straight people party!? They're going to hate me and Shiro's going to be embarrassed and I'm going to get a drink thrown in my face!”

“Lance, this isn't Glee. No one's going to throw a drink in your face for being bi. Now get your ass out the door.”

He gave himself one last once over in the mirror. Black, silk button up shirt (with a generous amount of buttons _not_ done up), dark blue skinny jeans, and a black denim jacket. He knew it looked good, but he also knew how important first impressions were. He wasn't changing, however. So he grabbed his black converse and keys and hit the night.

The ride over he was fidgety, knee bouncing as he stared out the window. Lights passed him but his vision blurred as he lost himself in thought. He was a sociable person, he’d be fine. Though unfortunately it didn’t stop him from feeling anxious over meeting an entire flat of new people who could potentially judge him. Not to mention Shiro. He lightly bumped his head on the window and sighed.

“Cheer up, bud. Just enjoy the night for what it is. No expectations,” Hunk said, patting his knee.

If Lance had any expectations, it wouldn't be to enter a party where three quarters of the guests were already blind drunk, beer pong had turned into pelting ping pong balls at each other, and Shiro was trying to stop someone from mooning out his window like a preschooler. He grimaced. He looked over at Hunk, who's face matched his.

“Heyyyyy… you!” A redhead Lance recognized from Shiro's bar stumbled up to them. Jenny, if he remembered right. “I've seen you before! Y'know, when Shiro, my good buddy, wouldn't stop fLIRTING with you all night instead of doing his jOB,” she called out. Shiro looked over at the mention of his name and spotted Lance. He went a little red as the mooning guest passed out over his shoulder. He set the guy down in a seat to sleep it off and went over to greet Lance. “You came,” he said shyly.

Lance's heart flipped over in his chest. He shouldn't be this endearing. It wasn't fair. “I did. You remember Hunk.”

“Of course, good to see you again.”

“Likewise. Sure looks like an eventful party you got on your hands.”

Shiro looked around nervously. “When all your friends are bar staff... let's just say the drinking started much, much earlier than it should have.”

“Guess we've got some catching up to do then!” Lance exclaimed, laughing airily. Hopefully enough to hide the fact he was dying of thirst for a different reason.

“Drinks are over on the table,” Shiro told them. Lance lifted up a bag he was holding.

“No worries. I know I said I liked free alcohol but I'm not that stingy. I just need a cup. One that preferably hasn't been used,” he said, looking around at the discarded red solo cups scattered around.

Shiro chuckled. “I can find you one I'm sure.” They both walked over to the kitchen and Lance left Hunk talking to Jenny about whether or not garbage cans were just huge cups for trash. He was sure disappointed to miss _that_ conversation. 

He remembered the first few drinks. Then the drinking games started, shots were introduced, and somehow Lance found himself too drunk to remember why Shiro's tongue was lapping spilt vodka off his stomach. Something to do with the four or five people doing body shots off his shirtless torso. But how that happened was an even bigger mystery to him. The tongue ran over a ticklish spot and he resisted the urge to squeal as he laughed. He looked down at Shiro whose face was flushed with alcohol, and most likely embarrassment.

He closed his eyes, opening them again to find Shiro next to his head, leaning over. “You okay?” he asked, his eyes focused on Lance's. Lance smiled and nodded. He threw his arms up, waiting for Shiro to help him off the table. Which, of course, he did. Lance would never get tired of the gentleman Shiro was. They headed over to an empty couch and sat down.

“You're sweet,” Lance said, leaning his head back and trying to ground himself in the alcohol haze.

“I am?”

“Mhm. You have the patience of a saint. Especially with drunks,” Lance confirmed matter-of-factly.

Shiro looked at him, cheeks rosy. “I'm not sure how much I can say that's true, but thank you.”

Lance sighed and sank into the cushions. He felt sleepy. His eyes heavy and limbs like lead. Despite the warmth inside his stomach, he shivered a little. “Let me find you a shirt,” Shiro said kindly.

“What… happened to mine?” Lance asked, frowning at his bare stomach.

“You spilled your drink on it. Jenny took it off you and put it in my washing machine. Kind of her to try, but she has no clue how to work things drunk.” Lance hummed like he vaguely remembered. Shiro got up, trying to pretend he didn't need to lean on the couch to steady himself. “I won't be long.”

Lance's eyes slipped closed again and he drifted, colours and lines shifting behind his eyelids. He felt like he was sat there for only a second before he felt a tap on his shoulder. He blinked heavily, seeing Shiro come into focus in front of him with a purple t-shirt probably two sizes too big for Lance. “Here,” he said, helping Lance put it over his head, “sorry, it's the smallest one I have.”

Lance smiled. “It's okay. Thank you.” He caught Shiro's wrist as he was moving away and tugged it gently to the seat next to him. “Sit with me for a bit?”

Shiro allowed himself to be lead back down and gave Lance a soft look. “Sure.”

“Thanks,” he replied, shuffling over to lean his head on Shiro's shoulder. He heard a sigh from above him.

“You look really good tonight. Not that you don't always look good.”

Lance shifted his head a bit to glimpse some of Shiro's face. “What?”

“Nothing... You're just very cute. And really fun to be around. I really wanted you to come tonight. I basically threw this party just to have an excuse to see you outside work,” he laughed nervously, “I should probably stop talking.”

“I don't mind if you carry on,” he said. Shiro let out a small laugh. Lance lifted his head enough to be face to face with him. “This party was for me?”

Shiro bit his lip. “Sort of, yeah. Sounds a bit silly, doesn't it.”

“No.”

They looked at each other, both silent, waiting. Lance saw how open Shiro's expression was. The worry on his face, the glances to Lance's lips, the cogs turning in his brain. His pulse picked up and the alcohol that was wearing off was replaced with adrenaline. He could sense what was going to happen before it happened. The calm before the storm. Lance held his breath. Shiro leaned forward, and that's when it broke. Lips found his and the waves crashed in around him. Shiro's mouth was like heaven against his, warm, gentle, but eager the moment he felt Lance kiss back. The press of Shiro's body next to his was intoxicating, the smell of him everywhere. They both became feverish, hungry, confidence spurred on by the others enthusiasm.

Lance crawled onto Shiro’s lap, tasting the sweet cider on his lips as he dragged his tongue over them. Someone wolf whistled from across the room but neither of them could stop. Lance knew he had Shiro caught. His hands ghosted over Lance’s hips, barely there but asking to touch. Lance pulled back and grinned devilishly against his lips. He felt unstoppable, he felt in control. “You can touch me, _big boy._ ”

Shiro managed to smile and released a short breath, his hands finally making contact. They wrapped around his waist, digging in and pulling him closer. Lance kissed Shiro's neck, getting more confident and sucking marks into the skin. Shiro moaned quietly into his ear as he scraped his teeth against his throat.

“So uh, it's getting pretty late, man. I might head back,” Hunk interrupted.

Lance pulled back. He looked at Shiro wordlessly as the situation sunk in. They both caught their breaths, awkward as they felt soberness creeping in. Lance wondered if he should get off Shiro's lap as he began to feel more and more self conscious. Shiro stared back at him. “Y-you could, um, stay here,” he suggested.

“For the night?” Shiro nodded. Lance bit his lip and knew he wouldn't be able to turn him down. Not when he was looking at him like that. “Head back when you want to, I'll see you tomorrow,” he told Hunk.

Hunk gave him a knowing look and sniggered. “Alright. Have a good night,” he said, before disappearing off.

Shiro's thumb ran over Lance's hip. “You don't have to stay,” he said gently. Lance leaned forwards and kissed him, feeling the difference as his head became clearer. It was softer, more tentative between them as Lance cradled Shiro's face in his hands. He rolled his hips ever so slightly and the grip on his waist tightened.

He pulled back, gaze intense. “I want to.”

Shiro swallowed. “Those that are left will probably end up crashing in here... We could go-” Lance nodded enthusiastically before Shiro even finished. He scrambled off his lap and took his hand, waiting to be lead the right way. Shiro took them both out the main room and down the corridor to his bedroom. He shed his clothes and climbed into bed as Lance shut the door.

He grinned at Shiro in the partial darkness and went to pull off his shirt. “Keep it on, it looks good on you,” he said. Lance smiled wider.

-

Waking up with a well needed stretch, Lance carefully removed himself from Shiro's arms. He began pulling on the rest of his clothes as Shiro woke up, blearily looking over.

“Oh, you're leaving.”

Lance bit his lip. “Sorry. I didn't want to wake you. I should probably head back though.”

“Yeah, no, of course. Do you want some coffee or something?”

“I'm okay, Shiro. Thanks,” he said. He felt guilty being caught trying to leave without a word, but he didn't want to make it any worse than it already was. He’d betrayed his promise to himself about getting involved with anyone. It was better this way. 

“Okay. I'll… see you around then?” He looked so unsure of himself, like he didn't know what to say. Lance didn't blame him. He wasn't used to this sort of thing either, usually he'd just pine over someone for a year, date them for a few months, then get his heart broken. Rinse and repeat. He was just saving himself the trouble.

“Yeah. Thanks for letting me stay,” he said, cheeks heating up a little, “I'll text you later, if you want.”

Shiro seemed a little more relaxed at that. “Sounds good.” Lance gave him a bashful smile before pulling on his shoes and heading out. He saw a familiar mass of red hair on the couch and laughed to himself as he left.

“Bye, Jenny.”

“Bye bye,” he heard her mumble back.

There was no way he was doing the walk of shame all the way back to his apartment. After a call to Hunk and 10 minutes of shivering in the cold morning air, he was back in the car. He sat silently and rubbed his temples. “Hangover?” Hunk asked.

“No. This is a stress headache. I'm an _idiot_ ,” Lance sighed.

“What? He seemed like a really good dude.” Hunk pulled a face. “Oh. Was it that bad?”

Lance groaned. “Not because of that, Jesus. I let myself get sucked in again by yet another person miles out of my league.”

“Lance, it's too early in the morning to hear about sucking, and you.”

“Hunk, will you stop joking around for a _second_. I know you say I'm dramatic about everything but this is an actual problem!”

Hunk glanced over at him sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Lance let out a long sigh. “It’s okay. I'm just grouchy. I can't even enjoy the fact I got laid by a god because my life is a mess and it's _frustrating_.”

Hunk bit his tongue. Lance side eyed him. “Are you serious. A sexual frustration joke, now?”

“I didn't say anything!”

Lance rolled his eyes and went back to looking out the window. Hunk was a great listener, but only after squeezing in as much teasing as humanly possible. Lance took off his jacket once they arrived home and noticed the shirt he was still wearing underneath. Shiro's. He frowned at his reflection and turned away, taking off the shirt and flinging it onto his bed with the rest of his clothes before heading straight to the shower.

The water created a veil around him, submerging his head so it blocked out his ears. He stood there for a bit, still feeling the ghost of Shiro's touch on his skin. He'd told Lance he wanted to see him, that he’d thrown the party for him. All of it positive; but Lance was really beginning to like him. That was dangerous.

Showered and dressed in his comfiest sweatpants, he played his favourite playlist and curled up in bed. He groaned at how many songs were about wanting someone, or how difficult feelings were, and failed to think of Shiro. Maybe… maybe he could entertain the thought for just a little while. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Shiro seemed to like him at least. He dug his phone out his discarded jeans pocket and sent Shiro a text.

_Thanks for inviting me to the party._

His phone vibrated about 5 minutes later with Shiro's response. _My pleasure. Sorry about the state of some of the guests._ Shiro clearly hadn't gone back to sleep then either, he was probably clearing up the mess of people still there.

 _Might wanna get Jenny a coffee or something, she looked pretty rough this morning_ , Lance sent back.

He dragged himself out of bed and went to go make himself something to drink. Chugging down a glass of water, he searched the cupboards for something to use. He knew how to fix a night of drinking. There was no way he was letting his skin get dehydrated or spotty. He found mint extract and grinned; he was glad he lived with an upcoming chef. He added it to a mask mixture he often used and applied it carefully.

Going back to his phone he saw he'd had a message off Shiro. _We're both eating a full fry up. She managed to convince me._

_Oh dear. How will disciplined, gym bunny Shiro feel about that?_

_He can afford a day off._

Lance chuckled. _I should think so._ They text on and off for most of the day. Then the week. He spoke to him a few times a day, and found himself really enjoying it. He was adamant it didn’t mean anything, though. One evening he got a phone call off Shiro just as he got into bed. He answered it, worried. “Hello?”

“Hey, Lance. Sorry if I'm bothering you. I just finished my shift so it's probably pretty late isn't it? I should have called at a better time.”

Lance smiled to himself. “It's okay, I can talk. What's up?”

“Well, nothing really. I just wanted to speak to you.”

“Oh. I'm flattered.”

He heard the smile in Shiro's voice. “How's your day been?” he asked.

“Pretty good. Allura finally told a creepy regular of ours to fuck off. Which was both brutal, and glorifying to watch. Coran told her off for the aggressive approach, but he brought her a drink after and told her he was proud of her. So we all know how he really feels.”

“I always knew Allura would be a badass. No one with hair that great would ever take shit from anyone.”

“Damn right,” Lance agreed. “How've you been?”

“Ah, not the best day for me unfortunately. There was a small scuffle in the bar just as we were closing and one of my staff got involved. He had a glass smashed over his head so he's in A&E at the moment. I'm just waiting outside for him.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah. Keith means well, he just isn't the best at de-escalating situations. In fact he usually makes them worse. Poor kid.”

Lance hummed. “Well, at least it's being dealt with. Aren't you sweet for going to A&E with him.”

Shiro laughed. “He's my employee, and also my friend. It's sort of my duty to. He doesn't really have any family I can call to be there for him either so, I'm kind of it.”

“You’re still an absolute sweetheart though,” Lance assured him. Shiro was quiet for a couple of moments and Lance shifted in his bed.

“So, I did actually call for a reason... “ Shiro said finally.

“Oh?”

“The Carnival is in town this weekend. I wondered if- and I know how childish this sounds- but I wondered if you wanted to go with me?”

“To the Carnival? Um, fuck yeah!” Lance said excitedly.

Shiro laughed, letting out a breath. “Okay.”

“Who cares about being childish? I’m great at the games, prepare to be impressed.”

“I will prepare as best I can,” he said fondly. “I think I see Keith so I should probably get going. But I’m glad you agreed. It was nice talking to you, Lance.”

Lance smiled to himself. “Yeah. Bye”

“Bye.” He hung up and lay there for a while. The Carnival with Shiro. He hadn’t been to one in years. It sounded like a date. It sounded very much like a date. Lance decided he wasn’t going to pay that any attention.

-

The lights, yelling children, overlapping music from every ride, Lance soaked it all up. He practically skipped to the meeting point. Shiro was already there, donning an adorable black and white striped button up and black jeans. He definitely seemed dressed for a date. Their eyes met and Shiro’s smile lit up everything around him. 

“You look nice,” Shiro said. Lance glanced down at his floral blue shirt and back up at the gorgeous man before him.

“Thanks. You too!”

“You get here okay?”

“Yeah, Hunk dropped me off on his way to his parents house.”

“Good. Well if you need a lift home later, I have my car parked nearby.”

Lance smiled. From anyone else this would have sounded like an intention to go home together, but Shiro was so genuine, Lance believed he just wanted him to get home safe. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He looked up at the carnival ride just behind them, hearing the screams as it suddenly dropped. “That looks fun.”

Shiro turned round to see. He faced Lance again, grinning. “Want to go?”

Lance grinned back. “Hell yeah.”

They sat side by side and Lance’s heart thumped in his chest as they rose higher and higher. He looked over at Shiro. He was already looking at Lance, a strange look on his face. Before Lance could process it Shiro looked away and suddenly they were falling. He rose up in his seat from the force, feeling the wind rushing past him. He screamed and laughed, clinging onto the harness over his chest.

After a few more drops, Lance felt giddy getting off the ride. His blood pumped quickly around his body both from adrenaline and happiness. He turned to Shiro and saw the same look on his face from earlier. He was about to open his mouth to ask what was wrong, when Shiro leaned forwards and kissed him.

Lance’s eyes went wide, his breath stopping short. Hands slipped reassuringly around his back, and his eyes fell shut. He let himself go for just a moment. The sensation of Shiro so close again was like being drunk. He sunk into the feeling of arms around him, familiar plush lips against his. The promise he’d made to himself didn’t matter, the people around them didn’t matter, only Shiro. He let himself indulge, to feel that affection and want. Then they both pulled away. He tried to resist the urge to open his eyes and pop the bubble. He wanted to keep pretending that in the middle of the fairground on a Friday night, everything was okay. However, it was impossible to keep up. Eventually Lance opened to his eyes to look up at Shiro, and regretted it instantly.

Shiro was looking down at him with the softest smile on his face, his head bowed and eyes crinkling at the edges. The rides behind him faded away, bathing him in a halo of light. It hit Lance with the force of a freight train. A ton of bricks being dropped on his chest. There was no suppressing the feeling of overwhelming need, no pushing down the happiness so strong it frightened him. It was all he could do just to stand. He’d had too many crushes to count, but it was rare to be hit with such a strong level of emotion that it shook him to his core.

He frowned and stumbled back. Shiro reached out, worried. “Are you okay, Lance?”

He trembled, biting his lip. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. Let’s go see some of the stalls,” he said, using the excuse to walk away and catch his breath. Shiro followed behind him, respectfully quiet.

Aiming games were Lance’s forte, and they luckily passed one of his favourites. The plastic clowns were lined up in rows with huge targets on them, couples pelting balls at their centre as hard as they could. Lance felt a bit of normalcy return to him as he paid for his 3 turns. He threw the ball just hard enough, and with enough accuracy, that he knocked down 90% of the clowns by the time his go was over. He smiled back at Shiro. “Want to try?”

Shiro accepted the ball from Lance. “Sure. I know I won’t be able to beat that, though,” he said, impressed. He managed to get down over half of the clowns on his turn, and Lance congratulated him. On the final turn Shiro let Lance take it, and they scored just enough to win one of the big prizes. Lance picked out a big, fluffy, blue lion, and handed it to Shiro.

“For you,” he said with a bow.

“No, you won it, Lance. You should have it.” He tried to pass it back, but Lance pressed it into Shiro’s chest.

“I won it for you. She’s called Bluey and you must promise to take care of her.”

Shiro smiled. “I will.”

They wandered through the carnival, the three of them. They attempted more games, but neither of them managed to win anything else, too busy laughing and trying to put each other off.

Eventually they’d walked round everywhere, finishing directly in front of the huge ferris wheel. They gazed up at it. The lights were woven round it’s frame like a sparkling tattoo, the carts brightly painted and moving smoothly, steadily round. Shiro slipped his hand into Lance’s as they watched. Lance squeezed his hand lightly, and they went to line up.

A baby pink cart stopped at the bottom and they climbed in, Lance getting in excitedly first, Shiro handing him Bluey as he got in and locked the gate. They ever so slowly started moving, and Lance couldn’t stop himself grinning. Half way up, Shiro moved closer to rest his head on Lance’s shoulder. Lance held his breath and felt something similar to the crushing happiness he’d experienced earlier. He tried to not let the implications of it ruin the moment. He didn’t want to be falling for Shiro, but he loved the sweet smell of his aftershave, the feeling of his soft hair against his chin, and the way he snuggled so close to his side. He was overcome with a fondness he couldn’t control.

He looked out to the night sky filled with tiny specs of light. The city spread out before him as they almost reached the top of the wheel. It was as if he was tiny himself. Nothing mattered from that spot above the world. The gentle breeze in his hair and the warm body beside him, that was it. He wanted to stay in that place forever, to dig himself into that moment so deep it would be impossible to leave. He wanted it so badly. A prickling sadness began to creep in.

There was the voice telling him he shouldn’t want it. It wouldn’t stay. Lance may have wanted to feel it forever, but how could he know if Shiro did? How could he be sure that as soon as he let himself enjoy being with someone, they wouldn’t leave? He had confidence, but he couldn’t handle being rejected again. Not like that. Not by Shiro. Whatever he saw in him, once he got to know him better Shiro would see him for the insecure, scared little boy he really was. The illusion would be broken. Once he knew about the neediness and anxiety, he’d be put off completely. He knew the minute he let himself want Shiro, was the minute he would lose him.

He tried not to cry as they sat together in the little cart in the sky.

Slowly, they lowered again. The sight of the city dropped away behind carnival rides. Shiro lifted his head from Lance’s shoulder and Lance avoided looking at him. It had been a perfect day, and that was what hurt so much. He couldn’t do it.

“I better go,” Lance said as they got off the ferris wheel.

“You sure? Want me to take you home?”

“No. I’m okay, thank you.”

“It’s no trouble,” Shiro reassured him.

“I know. I already have a lift home, though.”

“Okay, good.” They headed back to the exit and Lance watched the floor.

“I had a really nice time,” Lance said quietly.

“Me too,” Shiro replied, lightly bumping Lance's shoulder. “I’m really glad you came tonight.”

He swallowed thickly. “Shiro… I have to tell you something.” Here it was, the difficult part. Lance turned to look at him. Shiro looked confused at his solemn expression.

“Okay?”

“This-” he took a breath, fighting with himself as every word left his mouth, “was a mistake. I like you, but what happened at that party was just a one night thing.”

“I... I’m confused.”

“I shouldn’t have come. I didn’t mean to sleep with you, but I did, and I should have left it at that. I can’t do this. I tried to pretend this wasn’t a date, but it is, and I can’t. I don’t know how you feel about me, but this will never be anything serious. So it’s best if we don’t see each other again. I’m sorry. Don’t text me.”

Shiro looked at him, the heartbroken look in his eyes getting worse with every passing moment. Lance hated himself. He hated that he was doing this. He hated that he was scared and lonely and weak. He just couldn’t put himself out there again to get his heart crushed. Instead he was hurting someone who had been nothing but kind to him. He told himself it was necessary, that he was protecting himself. Shiro would never want him in the long run. He was saving them both.

“Are… are you sure?” he asked, in the smallest voice Lance had ever heard leave his mouth. The sound was so upsetting he thought he was going to be sick.

“Yes. Thank you for everything. And I'm sorry, I truly am. Goodnight, Shiro,” he gave him a pathetic smile, and walked out the exit towards Hunk’s car. He didn’t look back. He knew Shiro was standing there alone, clutching onto the lion Lance gave him as he watched the car drive away.

-

Weeks went by. Lance couldn’t stop crying, but he couldn’t bring himself to change what he’d done. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t know if the pain he felt was worth the pain he was trying to save himself from, but it was too late to take it back. He went on with his days like normal. Work became his life, he got home and lay down until it was time to get up for work again. He stopped laughing at Hunk’s jokes. He stopped texting Allura back.

A month or two passed, and at last Lance was starting to feel himself again. He let his friends take care of him, telling them what happened and accepting their comfort. It was a little improvement, but it was something. He sat at Hunk’s diner one evening, just clocked out from his shift for the day and waiting for his food order. Allura had gone home and Hunk was busy cooking in the back. He sipped his milkshake and glanced over as people entered the cafe. He didn’t think anything of it, until in sunk in the person walking through the door was familiar. Every drop of blood drained from his body. He thought he was about to pass out.

Shiro didn’t see him as he walked in the Cafe. Lance watched him sit on the other side of the room with some woman. He wasn’t one to assume things, but that was a date if he ever saw one. The way she looked at him made it painfully obvious. Lance had to remind himself Shiro wouldn't know he'd be there. Why would he, he never knew where Hunk worked. He felt sick. He watched Shiro say something and his stomach twisted at the way the woman giggled. There was no way he could stay there and stumbled out his seat, all but running out of the door with his head ducked down. Thankfully Coran was still closing up shop and Lance fell into his arms.

“Lance? You alright, my boy?” he asked, worried.

He hadn’t cried over Shiro for a long time, but he couldn’t stop himself bursting into tears in the middle of the mall. Coran hushed him and brought him back into the store, taking him into his office and sitting him down.

“Lance? Can you tell me what’s wrong?” he asked gently, handing him a box of tissues. Lance accepted them gratefully. He took a few heavy breaths and looked up at Coran.

“I... really liked someone. He had feelings for me too. W-we hung out a few times, went on a date, and it was amazing. But I got scared. I pushed him away and told him I didn’t want to see him anymore and that it was a mistake... I was so horrible, Coran. I lead him on and let my own fear ruin it all. He was nothing but adorable to me. I screwed up so bad.” He started crying again and Coran sat beside him to pull him into a hug.

“It's okay, Lance. Why were you so scared?”

“I just kept thinking, he’s not going to mean to, but he’s going to hurt me. He’s going to realize this isn’t what he wants and bail. I’m someone people want on the surface, but the minute they find out who I really am, everything goes to shit. If he found out how needy I was, now pathetic and scared I was, he’d leave, and be right to do so. No one wants the truth of what I am. Him showing any interest at all was just a joke the world was playing on me. I was trying to be smart. Stopping it myself before it got too far.”

“Oh, Lance. I’m so sorry,” Coran said sincerely. He rubbed Lance’s back as he sniffed into his tissues. “I know having feelings for someone is terrifying. You feel vulnerable and small. It’s difficult to deal with feeling that. Some can handle it, others need more time. It takes time to figure out how to still love yourself through fear and heartbreak. Once you do, you realize it’s something you can live through. And more often than not if something goes wrong, it's not your fault. Sometimes you’re both just in the wrong place for each other. Sometimes it's not the right moment. But you shouldn’t always let that possibility stop you from being open, or feeling those vulnerable emotions. There’s strength in putting yourself out there. There’s bravery in it, and the rewards are really worth it. You get those wonderful moments of contentment and connection. You feel love, and you feel loved. It’s worth it to be vulnerable. And you're a strong boy, you have people that care about you and you give so much warmth into the world. Someone loving you isn't a joke, you deserve it. I promise you.”

Lance felt more tears trail down his face as the words sunk in. It was a shock to hear, but he needed to hear it so much. He needed reminding that it wasn’t weak to want things. It was worth it. He’d put himself out there so many times, and though it hurt, he should never close that part of himself off. He wanted Shiro in his life. It had been so good when he'd let it, he felt safe and protected and happy. He wanted to be with him. It was okay to want that. If it went wrong it’d be okay. He nodded and wiped his face.

“Thank you, Coran. I really needed to hear that.”

Coran smiled at him. “I hope you feel better, son. You deserve to have happiness.”

He was going to try hard to remember that. “You too, old man,” he replied fondly. He stood up and sighed. “I better get going and let you close up. Thank you, though, really.”

Coran stood up and walked him out the store. “Don’t worry. I’m always going to be here.”

Lance gave him one last hug and checked his phone as he left. He had three texts from Hunk and one from Shiro. He chewed on his lip. He opened the ones from Hunk first.

_Where are you?_

_..._

_Shiro’s in the Cafe. He keeps asking me where you are. He said he saw you running out the door?_

_..._

_I figure you’re at home so I’ve given him our address. Sorry if I shouldn’t have, but he’s real messed up, Lance. Please talk to him._

Lance stood frozen. Shiro saw him? He breathed in and pressed on Shiro’s text.

_Hi, Lance. I’m sorry if this isn’t okay, but I’m outside your apartment. Please let me in. I really need to talk to you._

Lance swallowed and stared at the text. His apartment. Shiro was there. He needed to go.

_Give me 5._

He ran into the cafe and into the back, ignoring the confused waiters.

“Hunk! I need your keys!”

“Lance?!" Hunk said, surprised to see him. "Where did you go man? I thought you were at home?” He saw Lance’s red face. “Dude, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’ll tell you later, Hunk, I just really need your keys! Please, I’ll come get you later I promise!”

“Okay, okay. They’re in my jacket hanging up in the locker room.”

“Thanks!” Lance rushed into the locker room, fished the keys out his pocket, and sprinted outside. He didn’t stop running till he got to Hunk’s car and jumped in. He drove just on the edge of speeding, heart racing the whole way back. He didn’t know what he was going to find when he got home. Maybe Shiro was really angry with him for ruining his date. Maybe he was still upset with him. Either way, he was ready to face him and be honest.

He parked up behind what looked like Shiro’s car and hopped out, mind racing a mile a minute. He sped walked to his front door, hoping and praying he was still there, that he hadn’t given up and left already. Clearly his prayers had been answered, because there he was. Shiro. Sat huddled on the steps outside his apartment, phone in hand.

It was a long shot, but he really hoped Shiro was there because he cared about him. He approached slowly, and Shiro glanced up. They looked at each other for a while. He deserved an explanation. A real one. Even if it was hard for Lance to say. He stepped forwards.

“I'm not going to make excuses for my shitty actions, but please, just listen. I need you to understand. It’s not always easy to know why I feel like way I do. But, it’s sort of like waiting for the other shoe to drop,” Lance started, staring at the floor before finally looking at Shiro, laying his chest bare. “Like being handed a gift knowing the moment you unwrap it, it’ll burst into flames. I knew if I let you in, you’d crumble away in my hands. And I was so scared, Shiro. I was waiting for you to get bored or stop wanting me like everyone else did. It’s stupid, I know, I shouldn't compare you to past experiences. But, you made me happy. I’m always expecting someone to burst in and tell me I don’t deserve that. That I shouldn’t have the things that make me happy. I shouldn't expect anyone like me once they know who I really am. I was never worried about you personally, because you're amazing. Really. You’re ridiculously sweet and kind and easy to be around, and you make me feel all sorts of sappy feelings. More than I’d like to admit. I was just worried that the world was going to realize that something was making me happy, truly happy, and take it away. So, I destroyed it myself. Before the world got a chance to. I’m insecure, and needy, and selfish. I overthink until I ruin things and I think I’m protecting myself but I just make things worse. But I’m trying to do better. I am. This is my own shit to deal with, and I should never have messed you around the way I did. I’m sorry I couldn’t just tell you how afraid I was. I’m sorry I was so awful to you. I regret the way I ended that night,” he said truthfully. "I don't expect you'll forgive me, but I hope you understand it was never your fault." 

Shiro sat, searching his face in the quiet that followed. Lance had laid it all out, the honest truth. His overreacting mind, his flaws, his irrational thoughts. Shiro could walk away himself this time, he had the choice to do what he wanted after seeing how Lance truly was. Messy feelings and all.

He thought for a while, but finally he responded. “So, when you called it a mistake..?”

Lance sighed. “I was lying. I had so much fun around you, and felt so happy. I completely panicked. I pushed you away because I thought I was protecting myself. I’ve always tried to be an honest person, but I screwed up. Really bad. I tried to move on with the guilt and thought I was over it, but then I saw you with someone else-”

“How was I supposed to know any of this? You left me in the dark. Everything was fine, then you suddenly turned around and told me you didn't want to speak to me anymore and stopped answering my texts. It was devastating. You told me it was a one night stand and that it would never be serious. So I tried to move on too, Lance.”

“I know, I know! I thought I could pretend I wanted that, but it wasn’t what I wanted at all. The whole thing was my fault because I was struggling to open up. I-I didn’t want to admit to you that I...” He was losing his nerve. He felt like an idiot for everything, for hurting Shiro and thinking he could just explain away the horrible things he’d done. His face started to sting with tears again. He felt so out in the open, he was trying so hard to keep it together and push himself to be vulnerable. The tears started to come and Shiro stood up, looking at him sadly. 

He tentatively reached out a hand towards Lance’s and let out a heavy breath. “I’m sorry it's been so difficult for you. I really didn't know.”

Lance let him hold his hand, looking up at Shiro’s face with watery eyes. He was being so nice to him, it made him feel even worse. “I didn't mean to start crying. You don't need to feel bad at all, so please don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for, I’m the one that’s been fucking everything up. I've seriously been so unfair towards you. And I ruined your night.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, it’s fine,” Shiro reassured him.

“No, I’ve been really selfish. I didn't think you'd see me leave the Cafe. Are… are you two together?” Lance asked quietly.

Shiro gave his hands a gentle squeeze. “No. It was just a blind date set up for me by Keith.”

“Oh. I'm sorry. I really didn’t mean to ruin it. I didn’t mean to push you away in the first place.”

“I’m not going to pretend like it didn’t hurt me. It hurt a lot. But, I sort of understand. I've been around long enough to know who the genuine people in this world are. I know you wouldn't set out to hurt anyone on purpose. At first I wondered if you ever really did care about me, but after I thought about it I always believed that part was real. It makes me feel a little less upset now I know it was something you were struggling with on a personal level. And I believe your guilt over it is real. I appreciate you apologizing to me.”

“I'd _never_ mean to it purposefully, but I have no excuse for hurting you like that. It was awful of me, and I know that. You don’t deserve that at all.”

“To be honest, I was just so confused. In my head I thought it was going so well. Every time we were together it made sense, it was easy and exciting and I felt the most alive I had in years. I really liked you, Lance.”

Lance's heart swelled. He got the sense there was some kind of hope, but couldn't help but notice Shiro's choice of words. He bit his lip. “Liked?”

Shiro let out a breath and finally smiled. There it was. That smile Lance had missed so badly. The smile that tugged on Lance’s heart and made him weak at the knees. It was like seeing the sun break through the thick clouds, warming everything it touched. He cupped Lance’s face in both of his hands. “I still do,” he said softly.

Lance laughed under his breath, part of it relief, and part of it joy. Shiro leaned in and Lance closed his eyes, letting him kiss his lips gently. This was forgiveness, this was understanding and love and promise. Lance was going to make it up to him, no matter what. The night air curled in around them and they stood, inches apart.

Lance looked adoringly into Shiro's eyes. “I like you too.”

~End~

**Author's Note:**

> First of all I'd like to thank all the mods and participants of the Shance AU Bang, it's been such a lovely experience and I couldn't have had more fun with this!
> 
> A HUGE thank you to my wonderful beta Cici (tumblr:quietlyobscure) for being an angel and the sweetest thing ever. Your enthusiasm is precious and kept me going!! ly<3
> 
> Also a massive thank you to Anchy (tumblr:anaake-art) for the utterly gorgeous and adorable art for this piece! Thank you so much for picking my fic and creating such lovely work for it:)) ly!<3 check it out here!! http://anaake-art.tumblr.com/post/180662568249/for-shanceaubang-a-heart-to-move-lance-had
> 
> I've had the most amazing time writing this and honestly loved every minute of it, I really hope it's enjoyable to read and thank you to everyone who checks this out, comments are always welcomed and a huge shance loving cuddle to all<3


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